My eyes are lifting towards the goodness of the Lord. My battered soul, my wrecked spirit, the pieces of my brokenness are starting to form into JOY.
Unexpected joy, unanticipated hope.
I didn’t know if it would come. I don’t know if it will stay. But something is different.
There is a hope and joy in my soul that has stayed longer, that is deeper, more rooted in God’s love and goodness.
My mind has begun to think more often on eternity, not just on what I’m missing here, but what I will gain there and what the Lord has for us in the waiting.
I’m ever so slowly embracing this beautiful & broken story as part of a greater story that He is writing… that I can trust Him with.
He IS turning my “mourning into dancing” Psalm 30.
And I wonder “What are people praying for for me?” Because all I can say is it’s Him, it’s Jesus that has been slowly “binding up my broken heart” (Isaiah 61:1). (Please keep praying!)
There is no explanation but Jesus.
“I feel oddly more alive than I’d ever been in my life. The scars on my battered soul no longer appear to me as random slashes but suddenly transfigured into engravings of unexpected praise and thanksgiving.” Beth Moore wrote this in a devotional I’ve been walking through and as I read it I sensed “This is what the Lord is beginning to do in my heart!”
Though my heart still hurts, the sadness is still there and the tears still come… somewhere in the last couple of weeks the weight of the sorrow is not so heavy. There is a lightness to my spirit, a lightness to the tears.
A sweet reminder in this journey that our great God is the Great Restorer. The Great Redeemer. Everything that is broken, He is in the business of redeeming. Everything.
“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” – Psalm 30:5, 11 & 12
- A Time to be Silent and a Time to Speak - October 29, 2020
- Teaching Them to Hope, Birthday After Birthday. - January 15, 2020
- A Taste of Hope Fulfilled – Briella Dawn’s Birth Story - August 3, 2018
I am so happy to read this post. I came upon your blog when my husband and I were trying to conceive. We became pregnant and have since lost the baby. I have been thinking of your situation and how Jesus has a story for all of us. How you kept looking toward Jesus in the midst of it all! I have prayed for you and your family in the midst of your situation. We miss our baby and have our moments, but our joy is slowing returning to me and my husband. Thank you Jesus for the small victories in life! Thank you for Joy!
How beautiful is the healing that can only come from our Almighty God. I pray you continue to soak up His goodness and celebrate this life. He still has great things in store for you…and always remember that there ARE still people praying 🙂
well, I share your story with friends who can understand and keep praying for comfort, healing and hope….as one who has had wounds from the past from sexual abuse, family rejection and pain, II Cor 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Fater of mercies and the God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able tgo comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” Just the other day He reminded me of a song/poem which I can’t remember all the words but comes from a passage in James saying “he gives more grace”
“He giveth more grace as the burdens grow greater
He sendeth more strength as the labors increase.
To added affliction He addeth His Mercy,
To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.
Chorus:
His love has limit. His grace has no measure.
His power has no boundary known unto men.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.
When we’ve reached the end of our hoarded resources,
When our strength has failed err the day is half done
………
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.”
Here’s another verse but I couldn’t remember it all. It’s a poem written by Annie Johnson Flint.
I wish and pray these for you and Kevin, your parents and his often. love, mary beth
It is so encouraging to hear that God is bringing healing to your soul. You are in my prayers and I will continue to pray.