My eyes are lifting towards the goodness of the Lord. My battered soul, my wrecked spirit, the pieces of my brokenness are starting to form into JOY.
Unexpected joy, unanticipated hope.
I didn’t know if it would come. I don’t know if it will stay. But something is different.
There is a hope and joy in my soul that has stayed longer, that is deeper, more rooted in God’s love and goodness.
My mind has begun to think more often on eternity, not just on what I’m missing here, but what I will gain there and what the Lord has for us in the waiting.
I’m ever so slowly embracing this beautiful & broken story as part of a greater story that He is writing… that I can trust Him with.
He IS turning my “mourning into dancing” Psalm 30.
And I wonder “What are people praying for for me?” Because all I can say is it’s Him, it’s Jesus that has been slowly “binding up my broken heart” (Isaiah 61:1). (Please keep praying!)
There is no explanation but Jesus.
“I feel oddly more alive than I’d ever been in my life. The scars on my battered soul no longer appear to me as random slashes but suddenly transfigured into engravings of unexpected praise and thanksgiving.” Beth Moore wrote this in a devotional I’ve been walking through and as I read it I sensed “This is what the Lord is beginning to do in my heart!”
Though my heart still hurts, the sadness is still there and the tears still come… somewhere in the last couple of weeks the weight of the sorrow is not so heavy. There is a lightness to my spirit, a lightness to the tears.
A sweet reminder in this journey that our great God is the Great Restorer. The Great Redeemer. Everything that is broken, He is in the business of redeeming. Everything.
“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” – Psalm 30:5, 11 & 12