Thoughts on yesterdays passage (Day 37)
Hagar in Genesis 16
Hagar. Egyptian servant to Abram and Sarai. Used by Sarai to conceive a child through Abram in order to produce an heir that Sarai thought she could never produce. Sarai didn’t trust or perhaps understand that God’s promise of an heir was going to come through her, she was in her late 70’s at the time so it is not wonder that she questioned whether or not God was going to bless the nations through her womb. Yet still, she took matters into her own hands and consequences followed. Hagar became pregnant, and looked with contempt on Sarai for putting herself in this situation (wouldn’t you be a little mad?). Sarai, not to happy with Hagar’s response dealt ‘harshly with Hagar” which causes Hagar to flee. And into the wilderness went Hagar. Alone and pregnant. I wonder what she was thinking in her loneliness? Will I survive? How will I carry this child? Is the God of Abram and Sarai my God too? And there in the wilderness an angel of the Lord appears to Hagar calling her to return to Sarai, to submit to this woman who had just dealt so harshly with her, but with a promise “because the Lord has listened to your affliction.” And Hagar begins to know this God as intimate with her too. “So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing, for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.”” (Genesis 16:13) And it is here, where we first see the character of God as the “God who sees – El Roi” show up. He sees me. This is part of who He is… a seeing God. What does that mean? To see is not just a visual observation but an awareness, a noticing of what it is that your eyes are perceiving. My husband, Kevin has opened my eyes more fully to this word in marriage. I can often become so self focused, so concerned with my own grief and weariness that I fail to see my husband in what he is walking through. He’s told me at times when I’m more inward focused “I just don’t feel seen by you”. That phrase alone has opened my eyes to what it looks like to be AWARE through my sight of what my husband is walking through too. Do I SEE him? So at times, I’ve begun to ask him… “Do you feel seen by me?” And I’m growing in learning how to be where I’m at but not ignore where those closest to me are at too. I’m learning what it looks like to truly SEE others in a knowing, watchful, awareness. And yet even though I fail in this in my humanness, God does not fail in SEEING us. Oh at times it can “feel” like He is far, that He doesn’t see, that in the immense loneliness of our souls that cause us to wonder and cry out “God, do you see me? Do you see this hurting heart?” that He really is silent to those crys. And we can wonder if the Lord is seeing in a way that He will do something about whatever it is that we are walking through. And here Hagar crys out “You are a God of seeing, truly here i have seen him who LOOKS AFTER ME.” He looks after us and as I thought all day yesterday what does it mean that God sees me, sees us, looks after us God began to attune my eyes to His watchful eyes. It was in a seemingly small thing when Kevin and I were preparing to head to the hospital we will be delivering at to go over our birth plan, talk through our desires and what we’d like our time with Dasah to look like. We are delivering at a different hospital for a variety of reasons but one of which includes one of the Dr.’s who specializes in pediatric palliative care (care for those facing life threatening illness) who was a key part of Sophie’s birth, no longer being in Orlando. We had been wanting to speak with him at some point and received his new contact info and found out he was available to talk literally 20 minutes before we left for our consultation at the hospital. Kevin was able to talk with him before we left and I couldn’t help but think “God, you see us… you see our needs, you see the details of this journey that can seem overwhelming at time, the decisions we need to make and you are providing what we need in the most timely of ways.” He SEES me, He SEES you, He has not forgotten whatever it is that you are walking through and He is the one who SEES and looks after us, just like He did for Hagar, in the wilderness of our souls.
Questions for Reflection
- Ask the Lord to help you SEE the ways that He is revealing Himself to you as “the God who Sees”
- In what ways has God revealed this aspect of His character in your life? Both now and in the past?
Today & Tomorrow’s passage (Day 36 &35):
I’m sticking with Hagar in Genesis 21