“Can you discover the depths of God? Can you discover the limits of the Almighty? They are as high as the heavens, what can you do? Deeper than Sheol, what can you know? -Job 11:7-9
You, Oh Lord are limitless, infinite in power and might.
Who am I to think as I often do that my ability is also limitless? I half-heartedly acknowledge “Sure, I have limits but not nearly as much as what is reality. I can be a good wife, mom, minister of the gospel, leader of our team, and write a book (have I mentioned I’m in the ever slow process of doing this… gasp), keep up a blog (try to at least), and the list goes on.”
Somehow, without even realizing it I live as if I believe the prevalent cultural mantra “You can have it all, you can do and be anything you want”. And then when I realize I can’t (because spoiler alert- you can’t) instead of a humble recognition of my limits and a reorganizing of my priorities to that end, frustrations ensues and I collapse in a heap of defeat. This collapse of defeat is not due to the fact that I realize I actually have limits but that in my irrational mind I think “I must be organizing my life wrong, I must need to re-adjust, get up earlier, be more effective when Jaden naps, plan better… in order to do all I want to (or feel I need to) do” Yes, I must be organizing my life wrong, but not so I can do more, but so I can realize what it is I can realistically do in this season of life. The Psalmist says;
“The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.”
The lines, other versions say “the boundary lines”. Boundaries are where something begins and ends, where I begin and end. And where I begin and end, what God has given me to do and not do, the season of life He has put me in to be faithful with are pleasant and good but do not come without their own limits. In carrying my daughters to term, I was limited physically and emotionally. In walking through grief I was unable to pretend away my limits. But parenting Jaden is a new season of learning my limits once again and I find I grasp for the things I was able to do, be involved with, have emotional and physical energy for before that I cannot now. There are surely new things for me to step into and discover in this season of motherhood that will require a laying down of what I could do before. So as this new year is beginning, though I have many goals and ambitions, the word that God keeps bringing to mind as I move throughout each day is “Limits”. As if He’s saying “Lindsey, would you recognize your limits, so that I can do in and through you what only I can do, this may be on a much smaller or larger scale then what you have planned, but as you surrender your limited power and strength to my infinite power and strength you will walk in so much greater freedom.”
Oh Lord, forgive me for I have believed I have more power and ability then I truly do. I am limited. You are finite. You are limitless and infinite. And that frees me. Right now it frees me to trust that your unfailing power that lives within me will enable me to do, not what I want to do, or think I need to do, but what you really and truly have for me.
So this year, the New Years Resolution that sits on top of all the rest is “Recognize my limits”. I began a list the other day, taking a realistic look at my current season of life and responsibilities and beginning to acknowledge where my limits rest right now, where my capacity is less and more and what is most important to be investing and growing in in this season. This has and is continuing to require me to lay the rest at the feet of Jesus, trusting that even though there are things that sit on my “Want to but not as important list”, if he wants me too… he will create the time, space, and energy for them.
There is so much freedom in recognizing our finiteness, our limits. For then we can trust in the one who is limitless in power and might.